This particular story was from about 20 years ago.  I am not really sure if our trip to the local amusement park was like a company picnic for all employees or if just a handful of them from a few different departments decided to make their own get company picnic.  All I knew was that a bunch of people all from the track were getting together to eat have fun and ride some rides at the amusement park that was just a little ways up the road from the track.

As always when dad drove us to the amusement park for anything, work related or just for a family outing, I always brought a friend along.  Made the mistake of trying to ride a ride with my father when i was little, the weight distribution on the octopus ride wasn`t good.  I was like 60 lbs and dad was about 210, so we spun like a top for 5 minutes.  That was followed by 5 more minutes of my head being in a trashcan, throwing up stuff i ate 6 years before.  After that incident I always brought a friend close to my own age, no matter what kind of ride I was going on.

Like most families at any amusement park we split up the second we got in the gate.  mom went to the picnic area to scout around, she doesn`t ride any rides because of motion sickness.  Dad on the other hand went with a few of the people that worked for him.  Somehow as if it was fate, My friend and I ended up at the same ride as my dad, but were too tired to go on it.  So my friend and I and my mom sat nearby watching dad and one lady that he knew, go on the ride.  Mom was busy people watching, and my friend and I were trying to think what to go stand in line for next, partially waiting on dad to see if the lady and him wanted to go on it with us.  When out of nowhere we hear some loud yelling and 4 people who looked like they were audition for a movie about street thugs show up and are standing right next to my dad.  My friend at the time looked over and said “Think your dad is about to beat the crap out of someone”.

I found out from dad and the lady when they got done riding that the group of thugs had tried to cut in line.  They were trying to sneak around my father and the first one, made the mistake of asking “What do you think you are looking at?” Dad`s answer had 4 letters and started with an S, and apparently the guy didn`t like the answer and wanted a second opinion.  So he yelled “Warcry!”.  That is when my friend and I noticed the others show up.  They threatened dad, and again received an answer they didn`t like.  Pops pulled out his pocket knife, which he keeps on him for emergencies at work, and proceeds to tell one of them “You might whoop my butt but I guarantee 2 of you will be holding your guts in, praying for an ambulance”.  So they took off to the front of the line, and tried to cut in front of a few rednecks.  3 rednecks then proceeded to beat the living crap out of the 6 thugs, and on top of that the park security shows up and tosses only the thugs out.

Seeing as how dad is a magnet for danger my friend and I decide to go to a different ride than them.  Sometime later , my friend and I end up back near the food area.  Nothing says break time, like some BBQ and grilled stuff.  I spot my dad about 100 yards away, and he spots us.  Least I thought so.  Down where my friend and I were , was some old lady, and that’s it, just the 3 of us.  Nobody else was nearby.  My dad at this point starts yelling “JAKE!! JAKE!!”, and waving and hollerin at us.  Now it is important to know neither my friend nor myself are named Jake,  and I am 100 percent sure the old lady wasn`t named Jake either.  My friend was like “Hey dude I think your dad is yelling at you”

Then it happens, the little old lady,starts in “Damn kids these days don`t even answer when people are calling you.  You need to respect your elders and do what you are told.  When I was your age……..” .  I hate to admit it, but being 15 at the time I let this little old lady have it.  I was like “If it`s any of your damn business, my name isn`t Jake.  Do you answer to people who can`t even get your name right?  I bet you don`t, so why don`t you mind your own business…..” At this time, my friend grabs me in a headlock and is trying to wrestle me away.  I got to hand it to my friend, being able to drag me 100 yards while im flailing around like an octopus is quite an accomplishment.  Like always dad finds yet another time to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  “Dude I was calling you why didn`t you answer?” My friend at this point says “screw this I am going over to get some food”.  I just stopped slowly look over at dad and yell “Who the @”$& is Jake?!”  I think amusement parks were designed just to get people angry!

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